Report: 40,000 People Died On Ferris Wheels This Summer
Onion: "...and 17 fell victim to the Ferris Wheel Slasher, who is evidently still at large."
I wounder if this alludes to drunk drivers who get off easy even after multiple convictions, if so the number would be closer to 8000.
Onion: "Approximately 18,000 riders slipped out of their safety restraints and fell, suffering repeated traumas as they hit each spoke of the moving wheel on their way to the ground,"
This description stands in sharp contrast to our white-washing the description of crash types. Can you imagine if we changed "Distracted driving" to "Texted "LOL" while sending a human body flying like a rag doll across the road to be flattened by a two ton personal conveyance favored by the obese and lazy."
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<a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-40000-people-died-on-ferris-wheels-this-sum,26414/">http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-40000-people-died-on-ferris-wheels-this-sum,26414/</a>
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