I ran across this and had to share:
>>"hey theres a car behind you"
while there was a car behind me.
>>This is at a crosswalk, after I stopped for the pedestrian:
"What?! A courteous bicyclist?! What are you trying to do, f*ck with my whole world view?"
>>I'm standing at a red light at night, a ped I just passed approaches and asks, "Are you OK?" Me: "Sure, why do you ask?" He: "Your emergency light is on."