2nd-Grade Teacher Can't Believe How Much Fatter They Keep Getting
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Via the Onion:
WASHINGTON, PA—With the 2012-2013 academic year beginning this week, longtime James G. Blaine Elementary School teacher Suzanne Pomponio, 39, expressed her astonishment Wednesday at how much fatter her second-graders keep getting.
"I honestly didn't think it was possible for this year's kids to be any fatter than last year's, but boy, was I wrong," Pomponio told reporters, explaining that her students have grown noticeably chunkier in each of her 15 years as an educator. "When they all came in on Monday morning, I really couldn't believe how huge they were. The first thing I thought was, wow, each student must be 8 to 10 pounds heavier than anyone in my 2011 class. And everyone in that class was pretty fat, too."
"The short ones are fat, the tall ones are fat—they're all just so fat," she added. "I didn't even know 7-year-olds could get that big."
Though she's only been back in her classroom for a few days, Pomponio said she has already witnessed nearly all of her young pupils struggle to hoist their overweight frames out of their desks when called upon to approach the blackboard. She also stated that this year's students wear sweatpants and oversized T-shirts almost exclusively, and seem to prefer sitting on benches or playing in the dirt at recess instead of running and climbing.
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"I'd really like to address the value of eating healthy during parent-teacher conferences next month, but I'm afraid the message won't even get through to these families," Pomponio said. "The truth is, the parents keep getting fatter every year, too."
<a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/2ndgrade-teacher-cant-believe-how-much-fatter-they,29253/">http://www.theonion.com/articles/2ndgrade-teacher-cant-believe-how-much-fatter-they,29253/</a>
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