Kill a cyclist, pay $110

Until the city lives up to its bike-plan promises, door-prize givers will get away with murder

BY Jonathan Goldsbie

What if I told you that you could kill a man — or a woman or a child — for the low cost of $110? No jail time. No criminal record. No other fines or fees. Quite a bargain, huh? And you may not even have to pay that much, if you successfully challenge the penalty in court. The offer is not gonna get any sweeter than this. I dare you, find a better deal. Kill a person, pay $110, move on with your life.

How, you might ask? Well, it's obvious. Just pick someone whom society willfully neglects, whose life is considered unimportant and whose death is no big whoop, an unfortunate but forgettable consequence of modern society. A little collateral damage at the margins. Nope, not homeless people. They're looking down on that now.

I'm talking about cyclists. Just open the door of your parked car into an oncoming cyclist and smack 'em into traffic. It might take several tries before you actually kill one, but keep at it. The police will be hesitant to charge you at first. And then other cyclists will get all uppity, and police will compromise with a $110 fine. Because that's how much a cyclist's life is worth.

Incidentally, it's also how much a cyclist is fined for not coming to a complete halt at a stop sign. Or not having a bell. Or having a defective bell. Or riding in or along a pedestrian crossing.
... <a href="http://www.eyeweekly.com/torontonotes/article/40783">http://www.eyeweekly.com/torontonotes/article/40783</a>;

by B' Spokes

Like most people I live a hectic life and who has the time for much exercise? Thanks to xtracycle now I do. By using my bike for daily activities I can get things done and get an hour plus work out in 15 minutes extra of my time, not a bad deal and beats taking the extra time going to the gym. In case you are still having trouble being motivated; the National Center of Disease Control says that inactivity is the #2 killer in the United States just behind smoking. ( http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/bb_nutrition/ ) Get out there and start living life! I can carry home a full shopping cart of groceries, car pool two kids or just get lost in the great outdoors camping for a week. Well I got go, another outing this weekend.
  • Currently 0.00/5
Rating: 0.00/5 (0 votes cast)

Share It!

Story Options

  • Kill a cyclist, pay $110
  • 1 comments
Login required to comment
So maybe we don't need guns anymore to do away with those whom we despise, dislike, disagree with or who wear their hair weird. Just put them on a bike (clip their feet in too) and vroom boom send them to their doom. The lack of attorney fees will surely make this a "hit" and we can bring back Murder Incorporated as a partner with bicycle resellers everywhere. Come on, sing with me! (to the tune of the Canadian National Anthem) Oh Canada! Don't be caught on a bike you'll soon be smashed but that's maybe what you like With well thought-out laws we make murder work it costs just a small fee Use your car or truck and kill bicyclists maybe next year it will be for free We're progressive gloriously bike free try to ride two wheels and we'll smash into thee try to ride two wheels and we'll smash into thee